Paper Hearts
by Heidi C
Summary: James Potter is cutting out red paper hearts. And Hogwarts has taken up a new subject! ... For the love of all things, it's all because of Evans, isn't it? Lookie, Sirius even wrote a poem and officially hates Slughorn. Nooo.
1. Hearts Cut

_Hello. My name is Stephanie. You know what? I'm peeved in a way. So I'm going to peeve everyone else off too._ Here_, and their magical world. Oh, and I don't own Hogwarts, Harry Potter or the Marauders. Shame anyway, if I did they'd be writing poetry._

'..oO(&)Oo..,

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Chapter 1** Hearts Cut**

He couldn't believe it. He's failed again; to gain Evans attention, to make himself look good in front of her.

And even more, he couldn't believe he was cutting out hearts from red paper.

James Potter did indeed consider eating soap. After all, best friend Padfoot did say that it was the best remedy for heartbreak magnitude 9.0. The rest of the Marauders decided to steer clear of the stag for the time being.

An awkward Sirius Black edged closer to James' bed. Still feeling tentative, he perched lightly next to the depressed soul. He couldn't keep this quiet for anymore. No more! No more! No more…! Dang, he stayed quiet. What's wrong with him? Maybe… because Prongs is sad… so is Padfoot.

Still, Sirius couldn't help but take interest in the shiny rims of James' glasses. His fingers twitched. James started grabbing the cut-out hearts and throwing them in the air childishly. Oh okay, now he's distracted. With one swift movement, Sirius yanked his friend's glasses. Jokingly, he waggled them above his head. "Cheer up or you won't get your waggly glasses back-ely!"

"Pad!"

James snatched, bent his glasses and shoved them back up the bridge of his nose. Wonky. Oh great, now he was seeing double of Pad.

"Shove off, Pad." The mad boy repeated.

Sirius' ears twitched. He didn't like it when he was called 'pad'. It sounded… feminine. Bad thoughts, bad thoughts. But instead of showing his remorse, the lad snorted, "nu-uh."

"… Black, I'm _serious_."

He also hated it when James said his name backwards and as if his relatively smart friend was a self-proclaimed idiot. Prongsy did just say his name the other way round didn't he?

"Prongsy, stop being an idiot." Sirius voiced.

"I am such an idiot!"

"I said don't be an idiot."

"…"

"…"

"If only I could rewind today and let my love story unfold in its own beautiful way. If only I could take it back!"

"Yes, yes… if only, if oooooonly." Sirius howled.

"Or even if I could replay the exact same scene and understood what really happened. And how on earth and the underworld could a banana peel appear in the corridors!"

"Nay, nay, a banana peal to trip the head boy over!"

"And right into poor Lily's bosoms. The embarrassment!"

The poetry ended there. James ceased looking teary eyed at the dormitory's ceiling and for once in the last few hours looked directly at Sirius. "How could I, huh?"

His friend sighed. "Oh, it isn't that bad!" The careless boy ironically huffed. "I mean, they are C cups, aren't they? Isn't that big enough?"

James slapped himself on the forehead. He turned his back on Sirius.

"Shove off."

This time the other boy obeyed and left the room. Left James by himself once again. Left James Potter to start scrunching each of the one-hundred-and-fifty-two red paper hearts and shooting them into the bin.

After killing thirty poor hearts, the boy flopped onto his back, spilling hearts on the floor and feeling his own gut sink below the bed.

He had no idea that if he didn't keep it together, it wouldn't be long until his brain began to fizzle on his pillow.

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'..oO(&)Oo..,

_Hey, it's a short chapter. I would love reviews because it makes me want to write more. :O Next chapter follows really soon as a gift to Pailin and Cindy._


	2. Rationing Moods

**Stephanie's Note:** Yay, the next chappie. Especially for you Pailin and Cindy. An unpleasant surprise here… Oh, and I would love reviews because they make me warm and fuzzy and gives me inspiration because it helps me feel special. ;O –slap'd–

I am Stephanie. I am not Harry Potter. Harry Potter isn't mine.

'..oO(&)Oo..,

Chapter 2** Rationing Moods**

Pick up the red heart paper shape. Grab the edges and pinch the heart between fingers. Squeeze eyes shut and make a wish.

He had managed thirty wishes. All the same concept, aim, goal, dream, aspiration, hope, passion… love. _Help Lily like me._ The trance soon grew boring and he gave up. Hearing a murmur from the floor above him, he believed some more then let go for the moment. He barely noticed his fingers had been deeply paper cut several times.

James Potter had fallen asleep with scattered red, paper hearts that sombre night and he wished the slumber could have lasted just that odd few moments more…

"Oh yeah. He was probably dreaming of Evans shaking her booty or something." Sirius pronounced a little too clearly. He heard a few other voices laugh then quickly grow faint.

James wasn't in the mood, he grabbed his friend's collar. Oh wait, he's not wearing a shirt. Oh my gosh, he's topless.

"PAAAAADFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!"

"Yes!" Sirius punched the air. "You didn't call me 'Pad'! And you're finally awake… Look at this. Look at this. Lookatthis. Lookatthis. Lookatthis." The vivacious boy waved a wrinkled sheet of paper in front of James' face. How the… how can he be so hyper this early in the morning? And he was still sooo sleepy. He wiped the drool his friend had been watching intently, predicting when it would drip, from his chin. Sirius blinked and started rubbing the sheet of paper James' cheek.

James gave up on making his morning calm. Moodily, he kicked Sirius lightly. "Get off the bed and put a shirt on." He snatched the paper. "I'll read. Now go."

Sirius hopped off the bed obediently and began searching for a suitable shirt to wear. His dark, shaggy hair flopped over his eyes in a dog-like manner as he rummaged his trunk. James watched him blankly. Feeling a stare drilling into his neck, Sirius turned around. "Can't find the shirt yet, I'll comb my hair instead." Picked up a dirty, old brush and started running its teeth through his unruly hair. "Now read, Prongs!"

James confirmed he couldn't budge Sirius no more without reading the note. His eyes widened as he stared at the bolded, Times New Roman. Putting a fake voice of interest on, he asked: "When did you get this?"

Sirius had a bad feeling that anything added onto the subject just added to the amount of explosives attached to James. He shrugged dumbly. "… aye 'bout fiffeen min'its ago. Matey ay' Moo'y vwas f'up earle vmorning 'n he no'iced a v'pile of vem o'er 'ere."

"Knock the accent off. Repeat."

"Prongs is in a bad mood. Join me in my pirateyne-"

"No! Tell me how can this be happening?"

"But–"

"I can't believe this! The banana peel in the corridor and now _this_?"

"Uuuh… Prongs…"

"Where's Moony? Wormtail?"

"T-they're outside. Protesting against th–"

"Protesting? Against this? Good!"

Amazingly, throughout this whole conversation, James had been feverishly buttoning his attire and regaining his composure. He didn't smooth the creases on his clothing, simply ignored the slightly untidy appearance and focused on what he needed to focus on right now. And that was one thing. One thing only! Sirius was still pretty much unchanged. Nevertheless, Prongs grabbed him by the arm and dragged him out of the common room.

Just before they slipped out of the door, Sirius managed to shove on some boxer shorts.

'..oO(&)Oo..,

**Stephanie's Notes:** Hey, now-now… it's another short chapter. :O Sorry.


	3. Twisted Plot

_This has been delayed, procrastinated, forgotten, relived and re-re-edited._

_Harry Potter has been carefully written, published, praised and kept away from my clutches. It is not mine. See the contrast?_

'..oO(&)Oo..,

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Chapter 3** Twisted Plot**

James and Sirius continued hurrying out of the Gryffindor dormitory and made their stricken way to the Great Hall. Fortunately, it seems the stairs were obeying their distress and James only need to force his feet forward and not scream at the moving architecture. There were few students scaling the corridor breathing venomous whispers and shooting flattering glares as they passed the boys. Sirius ironically, blind to his stupidity, sent a flying kiss towards a Ravenclaw after she pointed to her boyfriend: "Oh, look. Black's wearing only his boxers!" The baffled boyfriend rolled his eyes and Sirius even blew _him_ a kiss. James pursed his lips, careful not to blow at his narcissistic friend, after all, he did drag him _this_ far already. Yanking his arm, they turned the corner and James raged down the aisles of tables. Sirius strutted along.

The gap between James and the congregation up front was diminishing rapidly. He narrowed his eyes upon the 'ones who must be blamed'. He observed; a great body of students of hundreds were bumbling around five figures in the very centre. There were many hives bickering among themselves but a good portion remained glued to the middle.

James choked when he checked the faces intense in the eye of the storm. After all, it was… shockingly familiar.

Moony. Wormy. Professor McGonagall. Professor Flitwick. Lily Evans.

The professors had their hands over their mouths as they attempted to hear out the students but the Hufflepuffs knew they were secretly grinning ear to ear at the comical havoc. Remus and Peter were on the same side, shouting protests and complaints that were on the brink of profanity. It seemed that their words were quickly running out of ideas… their contender must be winning… oh my… Moony and Wormy were retaliating edgy words towards Evans. ! OHNOES! O precious Lily-putty! With wild, sun kissed hair framing that pretty, glowering face… how could they hurt you? W-Wait, wait a second… James tuned his ears into the situation and slowly pulled a distorted face.

"Haven't you noticed that two thirds of Hogwarts is out here–"

"And the well majority of them are actually attracted to the Head Girl bickering with _you_ and not having a problem with it at all!"

Noting her win, Remus switched point-of-view. "Such a muggle-based subject cannot be allowed in a school full of magic!" Remus stomped his foot and winced. Peter made gruff noises to back his friend.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Excuse me! What is wrong with non-magical input? Are you saying we're to give up our 'man-made beds'… and _clothes_ to become more 'magical'? AND DID YOU NOT JUST LISTEN TO WHAT PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL JUST SAID?" Lily snorted. And her voice calmed. She flicked her wand and her voice resonated through the Great Hall: "She said that learning such skill could help us cast spells easier… and perhaps even create charms, hexes and so forth… _of our own_!"

… There was a stag moment in James' mind.

"WHAT OUR OWN SPELLS?" He blurted loudly. Too loudly.

The congregation at the front of the Great Hall turned to face James in almost perfect unison. Then half of them, supposedly girls, began drooling at the sight of topless Sirius. James took the chance to walk up to Evans.

"Evans! Are you saying this new subject will help us use magic better?"

The girl considered it a trick question then nodded frankly. "Yes."

"Well, then – my Lily-putty! There should be no protest at all!" He glared at Remus and Peter shook in his bunny slippers. He was taking advantage of Evans' spell and his announcement rang through… well, all of Hogwarts. "As head boy, and with the presence of… head girl –" James was taking his rank to the next level. "– this protest is dismissed! Because…"

He felt so different. Such a contrast from last night and this morning… forgotten were the banana peel, C-cup bosoms and thirty hearty wishes… instead he remembered the other one-hundred-and-seventy-two paper hearts of hope and optimism, still prettily cut around the Gryffindor dormitory. Or maybe the sudden change was because there was a thought that Evans had forgiven him for that last time… after all, he was sure she smiled at him through his little speech. "Because…" he repeated, "from Tuesday forth… Hogwarts will proudly learn…"

But really… James didn't know what he was confirming… did he? Too suddenly, on behalf of a speechless Hogwarts, they agreed on a new subject? When? And oooh… he had no idea what troubles were ahead for him. Difficulties in this new subject… but he glimpsed Evans' smile… OH MY G – was it just him or did that smile look utterly _sly?_ A wobble of jelly troubles welled up in his lungs… but before he could stop himself or take it all back… he blurted… Hogwarts will proudly learn:

"POETRY."

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'..oO(&)Oo..,

_Well, I told you I'd make them write poetry. :) Especially because I am so mean. … Yah!_

_Hope you like it._


	4. Emotions Dejected

_Finally Fanfiction is back! Rejoice! Rejoooiiceee! Reeejooooiiiceee!_

_Thank you Chesire-darls for your recurring comments and that big large fact that I don't know you in real life so I couldn't have forced you to read or review on Paper Hearts._

_I present… Emotion Dejected._

'..oO(&)Oo..,

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Chapter 4** Emotion Dejected**

The Great Hall was silenced by "POETRRRYYYYY!" James blinked.

They blinked.

Professor McGonagall blinked. She clapped her hands together. "Right!" She began with her usual relief of air. She snapped her fingers. "Perhaps we should hustle back to our dormitories now. Today's curriculum has been disturbed enough altogether. We will continue our normal timetables after lunch."

Professor Flitwick scuttled a long to progress the flock of students. James stood there stunned. Lily coughed. He turned around awkwardly. "E-Evans."

He wasn't so sure if his relationship with Lily-putty was actually better or disastrously worse. Could it be both? "No." Evans spoke cautiously but with arrogance. "No, Potter."

James opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it once again. Goldfish movement. Dangit. She hadn't even heard him say it properly.

Sirius sucked in his breath as he watched his friend from afar. Remus and Peter sauntered towards him.

"Bravo, Padfoot. I suppose we have just lost this battle. Spend your greetings with 'Poetry', first thing after lunch." Remus groaned.

Peter sniffled. "It's unfair." He began to talk in third-person: "Peter can't write poetry. Only Mucksie can."

Remus irritatedly asked who was Mucksie and Peter pointed to his right bunny slipper. "The other's Mopsie."

Sirius ignored the two Marauders. He watched helplessly as James chased Evans around, unable to catch a wisp of string that could pull his love closer to him.

"Fellow Marauders, I think we may find Prongs on the air-fall down a pit once again. He looks so sad, like chipmunk on his Lily-pad."

"He's _on_ her?"

"Herm… yeah." Sirius pointed to the scene where James was clambered on top of Evans' robe and hexed himself so he stuck there. His lover shrieked.

"Aaaw. Mucksie shall write a poem on this."

"Yes, Wor-err, Peter… you go do that."

Sirius lowered his voice. "Oh, psst, he's coming." Evans had managed to un-cling the Head Boy from her attire. The Head Girl smoothed her clothing and strode pass the Marauder's in a snooty fashion. The Head Boy did the exact opposite. He was actually walking away from the Marauders.

Sirius frowned and caught up to him.

"Hey Pronsie! What's the matter?"

James only caught his eye distantly. Then he looked at him properly. Err… _properly_?

Sirius froze. Peter galloped next to him and Remus icily padded towards the rest of the Marauders. Noticing Sirius and Peter's lack of movement, he voiced:

"Err… what's wrong?"

Sirius took one good look at James. He was wide-eyed, grinning and his teeth were flashing like a muggle Colgate ad, which of course was psp enhanced. He gulped and spoke slowly.

"If I am correct… it seems that James is actually _happy_ he's been rejected by Evans."

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'..oO(&)Oo..,

_I like this chapter, especially towards the end. I hope you like it too._

_GREETINGS OLIVIA._


	5. Sluggish Pace

_I JUST NOTICED THAT the Marauders didn't get breakfast._

_And Sirius is still shirtless._

_Haha… I'm so mean._

_I hope Paper Hearts isn't going at a Sluggish Pace._

'..oO(&)Oo..,

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Chapter 5** Sluggish Pace**

Sirius laughed especially through his nose. He snortled, saying dejected goodbyes to his abs and finally putting a shirt on. The other Marauders were also fitting themselves.

"Ahahahaha! _Slughorn_? Hahahahhahaha… _Slughorn's teaching us _poetry _hahaha!_"

Remus had his fingers in his mouth. It wasn't like a respectful student to laugh at any teacher but… was Slughorn _any_ teacher? He finally gave up and laughed.

Peter began chortling.

They all laughed a few more minutes, then stopped.

"Proooongs… are you alright?" Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes. James was still grinning as if he was in a tooth commercial, still.

"Yes, I am happy." He would say through gritted teeth whenever he was faced with interaction. And he said that again then.

Remus bit his lip and looked at his watch. "Lunch is almost over. Hey, I'm hungry. They didn't give us any breakfast!"

Sirius exclaimed with a horrible snorting sound. "Yeah! I think they noticed that time I hexed all the milk so it tasted like flem."

Remus began shaking his head. "You are foul, Padfoot! Stop making those noises."

"What noises?" Obnoxious, big-headed friend looked at him beckoning to be smashed with an ego-destroyer. Sirius farted.

No one said anything.

Smart Peter to get up first. He got his robe and exited. Prongs followed. James, miraculously, got up and pinched his nose. He gave Sirius a slightly toothier grin to say 'I hate you' then scuttled with the rest of the Marauders out of the room.

"Oh whaaat…? Guys…" Sirius whined and reluctantly picked up his manners off a table three metres away.

The other Marauders filed outside waiting for him, each with their own student apparatus. Remus had a proper pencil case, Peter had a E. 4B pencil just bigger than his thumb nail and James had a proper pencil case, a metre long ruler, 480 pages of lined, he-ruled-them-himself paper, which was all too much. Sirius came tumbling just before they began walking to their first poetry class with his mechanical pencil that he loved very much.

The Marauders, in a strange fashion, entered the room and Slughorn looked at them slowly. He seemed awkward himself teaching poetry.

Sirius burst out laughing as soon as they met eye to eye. "SlughornwritingpoetryAHAHAHAHAHA." He started, in which Remus rolled his eyes for the millionth time that day and hurt.

Professor Slughorn's eyes followed the Marauders across the room and settle into their seats. Smartly, Remus detoured so James had to sit next to Lily. Peter, desperately, found a spot away from the window that he could not fall out off and Sirius eventually sat down next to a person who he was reasonably attracted to. All this made Slughorn's eyes criss and cross so he didn't notice anything peculiar.

Licking his lips, the plump man clapped his hands together. The class sat up.

"Ho, children, to your first poetry lesson, I congratulate its beginning!" He eyed Lily especially and even gave James a knowledgeable look. "I see… for the first lesson, I would like you to write whatever poetry you want on – ho – any subject you want at all, ho!"

…

"Off you go, ho!"

…

Peter was the first to twitch. He borrowed one of James' many papers and began scribbling a few odd lines. "Help me, Mucksie." He mumbled hoping his telepathic talent would give his bunny slipper in the dormitory initiative to send pixies of inspiration. After two minutes he had.

_I lyke cheez_

_Becuze we didnot get to aet ani brekky toduy_

_An Muckseee tellz me that if I don't write this_

_it just wunt go awuy_

Remus sighed, shuffled and undesirably began his.

_Love cannot be avoided_

_Love is a fresh, sweetness in one's heart_

_Prongs chasing Lily is an expired heart_

He crossed it off. Remus was so worried about Prongs he was writing about _his_ love life? Gruesome in eight-hundred-and-fifty-one ways. The latter being… it wasn't even his life!

Sirius stared at him, cursed, then began giving Slughorn pathetic faces that 'needed help, now'. It worked because Slughorn hoddled towards him.

James roughly rested his chin on his hand and now his eyes were teary despite the grin. He would stare at Evans admiringly, her firey hair burning with creativity. His mind ran with all the poetic lines conjured when he had been cutting those paper hearts. But it was too rapid and eventually they could not be pieced and was specifically lost in his Bermuda mind. All etch lettered down spelt catastrophe and only a scrape of truth. Not even when each of those paper hearts held a single word that holds the poem from his heart. It didn't help his memory.

Okay. That's it, he is stuffed and angry. Tonight he's going to piece back these paper hearts no matter how hard it is!

Even if it means retrieving one from Sirius' belly.

Err, okay. Maybe not that hard.

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'..oO(&)Oo..,

_Sorry if this is itsy-bitsy. I'm angsty. THE HOLIDAYS IS COMING UP._

_And oh, dread to the science test. I finally finished my two-page notes._

_God bless you._


	6. Chain Broken

_I like writing this fanfiction._

_Doesn't need as much fanservice as my other one._

_Also, tastey thankful cheerios to OrangeSnapdragon for pointing out a mistake I shall fix! 3 :D GLOMPS 33_

_Tiff, I destroy your brain cells. I've probably killed threehundred-and-forty already. Sorry. Will share some cheerios to gain +10 each devour._

_EAT CHEERIOS FRIENDS. 3_

'..oO(&)Oo..,

* * *

Chapter 6 **Chain B****roken**

"Now class, ho!"

Slughorn waddled to the centre of the class.

Sirius whimpered in dismay for he received the news to be presented about… three seconds earlier. He sunk back in his seat and painfully stared at James. He didn't get a 'are you alright?', 'what?' or 'freakkin' hell, stop staring at me like that' from him though. Nu-uh. Just that… look.

Maybe he's thinking really hard in his head… Poor Prongs… Nevertheless, even if it is an evil plan accumulating in his mind, it was still rather sad to watch him stare ahead into nothing even when Lily gave him a concerned look that may have included the lover's blush…

James didn't move for another minute. Sirius, being the cheeky man he was, stuck out his tongue.

James did not flinch.

Sirius, being the flirtatious man he was, imitated a French kiss.

James did not flinch.

Oh alright! He was getting use to this. Maybe later on he could imitate him without getting into trouble! Yay! Of course, the facts always had to destroy his blissfully simplistic thoughts.

"Ho, Mister Black! C'mon up and read us your acclaimed… ho, acclaimed by _me_… poem." Slughorn joined his hands and shuffled away from the pulpit.

_The pulpit_.

"Ho c'mon, Mister Black, it's not as if this is a sermon in front of a congregation and you h'on a pulpit."

Sirius gulped. Sirius didn't budge. Sirius was not going to read out his poem on Rainbows and what the… he looked at his paper in dismay… rainbows and _blowholes_?

Slughorn pleaded through his eyes. "Mister Black!" Taking points off Griffindor was at the tip of tongue. Fellow classmates groaned at realization. Remus buried his head in his hands. Sirius looked at James desperately but he got nothing.

Missing your best friend really is no fun.

"C'mon ho!"

…

…

Oh my gosh. What the heck… did Slughorn just Sirius… _Sirius… _a _ho_?

Shit!

Who the hell is he calling a 'ho'? He gritted his teeth. BECAUSE SIRIUS IS NO HOOO!

He immediately got up. He spun on his heels and walked confidently to the pulpit where he'll prove he is _not_ a ho. At the centre of the class with eyes blinked. Defiantly and with the most courageous air he could master (beginners level 0.02) before reading his poem–

"The colours of the rainbow."

Remus burst out laughing.

"Hey, shuttup!"

Remus lifted his hands in surrender. After all, it was a lady that screamed it. Sirius had been throwing daggers magically through his expanding and retracting pupils and when he heard the defending voice adjusted his robe gingerly.

Wasn't that… Lily?

Suddenly, one of the wooden chairs broke. One of the wooden chairs under James. Oh no… he looks really angry. Really, really, really, really, really angry. And the message was clear: Oh so Lily goes around defending you, alright. And what about me? What about me?

Sirius gulped and shuffled with the paper in his hand. He better start now before things get worse… But the quilled writing looked blurred and distorted… Oh no. He began mumbling the first few lines, then stanzas.

"Mister Black… we can't hear you, ho!"

_I'm not a ho! Go awaaay Slugface._

"Yes, _mister Black_! Why aren't you saying anything? Guilty?"

_James! Oh my gosh… he _is_ really mad!_

He stared down at his slowly un-dissolving paper. His mind wasn't too foggy now… and then he knew perhaps the writing could mend some issues. And with one deep breath, the author reads his poem.

* * *

_HO! YADADADADA. Sirius point of viiiewwww._

_Thanks for following Paper Hearts up to HERE. Well done:D_

_No, this is not the end. XDD Just a BIG thank you to you readers!_

_God bless you!_


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